Should I Really Care What You Think??

Why do we pay attention to what others say about us? What makes us put special emphasis on what another person thinks about our self (e.g., style, mannerisms, personality, decisions, looks, etc.).  Even more, why do we have tendency to attach so much weight to their words as if they’re based on fact?  Yes, we are naturally relational creatures and most of us value others’ input, company, thoughts, etc.  This is the way we were made in God’s image and to keep it 100, we do need each other.

But hold up.  When does the need to be wanted, valued, validated, and accepted turn horribly bad?  Whenever we become so absorbed by the words of others we deem important that we lose ourselves; this is no longer a good thing!  This is especially critical when the results are feelings of inferiority, guilt, or shame.  True, some people have such strong personalities that they can cause others to believe that what they spout is gospel when it is nothing more than opinion.  In a world full of lies, deception, and ambiguity, we’d do well to consider the difference between fact and fiction.  Fact: You are worthy of respect and dignity no matter what your station in life.  Fiction: Believing that another person’s perspective or opinion about you holds more value than your self-worth.  Comments are welcome as always.

Scene from “A Black Swan” Performance

See, What Had Happened Was…

How do you deal with disappointments, unmet expectations, or broken promises?  What about the ensuing myriad of excuses that follow?  It seems that some people are masters of coming up with some reason they did not or could not meet a scheduled obligation.  Often, consideration for the bigger picture does not come into their view.  In other words, who or what may be impacted by what did or did not happen?

We do not have to become a victim of the mishaps of others whether intentional or not.  How might we begin to see things differently?  Certainly, all of us have been on the receiving as well as the giving end.  But, oh we don’t see ourselves as excuse makers, do we?  It’s something about how we view ourselves—position, privilege, influences, self-worth or whatever—that we think allows us to get a pass.  It can be something as simple as not returning a phone call and dismissing it as “I’m too busy with an important client” and yet this is just another way that we excuse ourselves when we make excuses.  Perhaps a different perspective is needed.  There are always going to be people who could care less whether they hijack your time.  However, the next time we’re tempted to burn within at someone who stood us up, let’s step back, soften, and consider what it must have been like for others when we fell short.  Comments are always welcome.

Wrestling Not Against Flesh and Blood

How You See It/How I See It

Why are we sometimes errant in our thinking when it comes to having an opinion on a subject?  It may not be cool to have a ‘my way or the highway’ world view.  Someone once shared with me a problem they were going through.  As I listened and thought about what they were saying, the convo gradually became about it being just a bad day—not a bad life.  Although the problem still existed, I was intrigued at how the individual was able to see things differently despite still being knee-deep in it.

Perhaps one reason people hold tightly to what they perceive as important may be the need to maintain normalcy for them.  Could it be that one’s opinion is closely tied to their self-worth or identity?  My perspective, though important is mine and often may not jive with your perspective that is just as noteworthy.  But somehow it does matter, doesn’t it?  For some people, this is the major way they differentiate themselves because after all God didn’t create us to be robots.  Can we learn to appreciate another person’s footprint even if their shoes don’t fit us?  Comments are always welcome.

“You are Significant